vagisodium:

he sank the boat he was working on just to kill the captain

i was havin a great time until i remembered that i was ugly

pizza:

even if i lost all my memory i’d still remember my wifi password

pizzapriince:

following back everyone until i find a tumblr gf♡

yeah school sucks but does it swallow 

zftw:

genderthief:

i gave my dog a tortilla chip ten minutes ago and she won’t fucking eat it she’s just staring at me with it in her mouth 

she’s waiting for the salsa

2k13blogger:

does anyone have like ten thousand dollars they don’t want

whoredinarygirl:

the best things in life have the most calories

1dteenwolfaddict:

How to lose all your friends in one easy step

knightscrest:

damn, i just got SERVED. by my waitress. this restaurant is excellent.

whvtever:

i don’t get it but i’ll laugh anyway because you’re hot